Ground control to Major Pain

Ground Control to Major Pain
Take your protein drink and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Pain
Commence your cycling, lycra on
Check your Garmin and may God’s love be with you

This is Ground Control to Major Pain
You barely made the grade
And the stalkers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the bike lane if you dare
“This is Major Pain to Ground Control
I’m stepping up the pace
And my calfs are hurting in a most peculiar way
And my the quads feel very different today
For here
Am I sitting on my tin bike
just above the road
Chip Seal road is new and there’s nothing I can do

Though I’m past one hundred measly miles
I’m feeling very ill
but I think my steel bike knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much she knows
Ground Control to Major Pain
Your Garmin’s dead, there’s something wrong
We can’t track you, Major Pain

We can’t track you Major Pain
We can’t track you, Major Pain
Can you

For here I am sitting on my tin bike
just above the road
Chip Seal road is new and there’s nothing I can do

Here am I pedaling my tin bike
Far below my pace
Chip seal Road is new
And there’s nothing I can do

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